When You Can’t Name What Hurts

Growing up, therapy carried a stigma.
If you heard someone needed therapy, you assumed they were broken — that something must be wrong with them. It wasn’t seen as healing; it was seen as weakness.

But as time passed and we got older — and maybe a little wiser — we learned that couldn’t be further from the truth.

What Therapy Really Is

Therapy isn’t about fixing what’s broken — it’s about understanding what’s unseen.
It’s less like taking medicine and more like holding up a mirror. Sometimes it’s the first time you hear your thoughts spoken out loud. Sometimes it’s the only space where you’re allowed to pause long enough to notice what hurts.

The Hardest Question

I remember my first session clearly.
The therapist asked, “What brings you in today?”
And I froze.

Not because I didn’t want help, but because I couldn’t name what hurt. I knew something was wrong — I just didn’t know how to describe it.

Emotional Pain Doesn’t Point to Itself

When you go to urgent care, you can point to the problem.
“My knee.” “My stomach.” “Right here — that’s where it hurts.”

But therapy doesn’t work like that. The pain isn’t visible. It hides behind your habits, your jokes, your silence. You can’t put a bandage on something you can’t locate.

Unlearning ‘Suck It Up’

I grew up being told to “suck it up,” “man up,” and “keep it moving.”
That conditioning taught me to suppress instead of feel. It trained me to question whether my emotions were valid. Over time, I stopped checking in with myself altogether.

Eventually, I couldn’t tell the difference between being fine and being disconnected.

The Unplanned Vulnerability

What’s funny is that my most honest moments don’t happen in therapy — they happen in random conversations I never meant to go deep in. Something slips out, and suddenly I’m learning something about myself I didn’t even know was buried.

It’s uncomfortable, but necessary. Those small moments remind me that self-awareness isn’t a milestone — it’s a lifelong process of rediscovery.

Learning to Be Honest (Even With Myself)

I say all that to say this:
Sometimes I don’t even know what I need to talk to a therapist about.

I’ve said “I’m good” so many times that I’ve started to believe it.
But every now and then, life reminds me that I’m not as good as I say I am.

Maybe that’s something we have in common.
Maybe you’ve already worked through it.
If you have, I’d love to know how. Because for me, this process — learning to be honest with myself — is the real work.

Closing Thought

Healing doesn’t always start with answers.
Sometimes it starts with admitting you don’t have any.